Balancing Act

     Ow! Bang! Crash! ( Insert any crazy or wacky onomatopoeia here. Come on all you teachers and students out there. I know you can do it!) I have become the epitome of clumsy. I mean that quite literally. I could be standing perfectly upright in the living room with NOTHING around me and just trip, lean, fall or what have you. It's so weird! After much discussion with my husband, who at one point of his life was well over 400 lbs but for the life of him can NOT REMEMBER how he lost the weight, (~_~) I have come to this conclusion. My weight distribution has now changed. I before would carry weight through out my entire body but the majority of it would be concentrated around my core. Reflecting back now, I can recall when peers would attempt to guess my weight and be off by at least 100 lbs. Now however, as I am losing fat and gaining muscle in new areas. I feel as though I am learning all over again. A trainer could say something along the line of, "Make sure all ten toes are facing forward". Sure enough I would think I was doing just that until I saw my feet in the mirror. Totally crooked! Then what's worse is when I would align my feet correctly, I would become off balanced!  Ugh! Since then I have been attempting to teach myself how to walk correctly and viewing videos online about strength exercises for my feet. When it came to my walk I normally would overpronate due to the fact that I am naturally flat footed. Now I am glad to say, after going to a store that will actually check your stride, not only I am developing an arch but also my foot alignment is falling into a neutral position!
     It's crazy what a life time of being in the wrong shoes can do. Growing up it was "Who ever could find the cheapest shoes wins!" Even to this day I have to remind myself that shoes are not just accessories but are very important tools. I wouldn't just warm my hands up by rubbing them together and then proceed to glide my hands over my hair and call it "flat-ironing" (especially not with this huge Afro ha!), therefore I shouldn't workout in just any pair of shoes that come my way. I mean really? "Who ever finds the cheapest shoes wins?" The only one winning was my dad while my brothers and I grew up with flat feet and foot pain.
     Something else too, while I'm thinking about how I look in the mirror. Some days, it's as if I don't even recognize my reflection. I mean don't worry I know it's me but it's almost as if I have to tell myself it's MY reflection. Now, this is not necessarily an awful thing. I guess the reasoning behind why I appear to be so foreign to myself would be because even though I use to weigh less than I currently am, I am doing strength training in conjunction with my cardio. Even during my active days I wasn't doing clean 'n presses. (my favorite Body Pump move believe it or not (^_^)) I'm positive someone has caught me staring at the mirror in class before. I can't help it! Especially in my Body Combat class. When we are asked to focus on a "target"  I immediately find myself looking straight ahead. Each attack seems to come in contact with my reflection's face as if to defeat that person who thought it was too late to fight and said that I had become too old to try again. Each hook feels like a blow to the "Old Kiki" who would let the painful jabs of family members walk all over her. During "the fight" I can see the new me emerging. When I am tired and have to place my hands on my sides. I can actually feel where my "true body" lies within.
     This is so hard for me! Even in writing this I have to take breaks due to the fact that this brings out a side of me I am not fully comfortable showing. Once again growing up in a family where showing emotions made a person WEAK, it's hard to share this experience without feeling utterly broken, embarrassed  and down right ashamed. Too many emotions and too many feelings. Happiness, anger, sadness, contempt, range, determination, the list just goes on and on. I have to keep smiling. I have to keep laughing. I have to know that God will never give me anything that I can't bare and that one day I will look at this time in my life and feel proud. *smiles* Until next time,

-SKBarnes


Ps. I actually got this in a fortune cookie the other day. My husband wanted to go out so I just made a chicken salad. See? Even the cookie knows what's in store for me! \(^_^)/

Can't quit now! (^_^)

  * Drum roll* Hey it's time for an update! How am I feeling today you ask? A lot better than I previously was. Allow me to elaborate. Lately, I have noticed that along with this goody bag of fluctuated weight, fat loss/ muscle gain, can and more than likely  be paired with fluctuated emotions. For example, sometime around Valentines Day, not exactly sure what day but I'm sure you get the gist of what I mean, I decided to take one of the trainers' suggestions and literally CARRY around the weight I have lost so far! (30lbs) Not only did I go up a flight of stairs but I also did a lap around the indoor track! I was so overcome with emotions that I had to leave. Mind you these were happy, proud, emotions however I did not wish to explain to onlookers (who may mistaken my joy for sadness) why I was crying. Actually, I was so happy I was telling everyone and I mean EVERYONE! (>_<)
     The following Monday, I was totally pumped and ready to go to Zumba. I was especially excited to see a fellow friend return from her hiatus due to personal reasons that I will not mention here out of respect for her. So, by this time class had started, everyone was dancing, it was great! Then around the third song I noticed it. Someone was standing outside the door with what appeared to be a cell phone recording and laughing. I really hope they weren't recording at least. I know nowadays people get their kicks by recording people and placing them on YouTube. So I did what came instinctively. I put on the best show I could and when the song ended, I smiled, waved and walked away. I only left my spot for a moment just to get my water because of course I couldn't quit now! After coming back home I could feel that something was different. There was this frustration being fueled by something I haven't felt since middle school. I mean normally if I saw someone looking at me I would just brush it off, keep going, and maybe even smile. Why not this? Why did this bother me so much to the point where I started kicking myself for not saying anything earlier? I wanted to speak about it. Really I did but to be honest, I just didn't want to come off as "That " person. You know the type. The one who always has something to complain about and never is satisfied. To be completely frank, I wanted to come on here and do a 30 page rant but I allowed myself a few days to cool off. I feel sometimes we can say things out of anger that we don't really mean so I took a time out. Don't worry, I'm much better now. (^_^)

Until next time,


-SKBarnes

Also, I almost forgot. If you were just wondering what 30lbs, in the right place, looks like. Then look no further! (^_^)

Twenty-seven and counting!

As of today I am proud to announce that I have lost a combined total of twenty-seven pounds thus far! Even though I am ecstatic now, I have to admit that this didn't seem like such an accomplishment to me initially. I automatically thought on how much more I have to go and started reflecting on how I should have never allowed myself to get to this point in the first place. Luckily, I reminded myself that this new lifestyle is no longer about my past but about my future. I didn't get to this weight overnight therefore quite naturally it will take me some time to lose the excess amount. I am deeply touched with the amount of support I have received. For the first time I truly realize that in some kind of twist, I have gained an " audience". That is to say that previously, the only people who I figured were REALLY paying me any attention were my family, friends, and the gym instructors. Man was I wrong! I have had total strangers who have seen me running on the indoor track cheer me on and tell me that I can do it. I have even had people to tell me that they have been watching me since I started back in October. It's amazing to see that they can actually tell me where I've lost inches! The best feeling I have to say is when I get to speak with others who wish to change their lifestyles for the better as well. If seeing me all sweaty  and giving my all in Zumba makes you want to try to reach for your goals, then by all means do it! I'll even be your little cheerleader in the corner of the room with the glow sticks. Ha! In all seriousness though, I consider myself blessed. To think, not too long ago I seemed to always be sick! I dealt with tons of swelling, constant pain, and a bit of depression. There, I said it, DEPRESSION. That was something I never wished to let anyone in on except my husband. Well that's all behind me because now I feel nothing can stop me! Until next time,

-SKBarnes

Cleaning the secret workout

Here I am at home completely worn out. Why you ask? Simple. I have literally been cleaning my house from top to bottom. Why must I wait for Spring to do a thorough cleaning? *shrugs* I'm not even quite sure on how I got started but something in me literally just wanted to get rid of any unnecessary junk from the previous year. Before I knew it my house was completely unrecognizable and I'm left utterly worn out. Recently I downloaded the free My fitness pal app on my smartphone. You can find out if your phone is compatible and download it here. "My Fitness Pal"  So just for fun I decided to see if I could actually count my house work as a workout. After I'm sore and completely drenched! Come to find out, depending on your weight, one can burn anywhere between 385 to 462 calories an hour. It feels great knowing that even though I couldn't physically make it to the gym, I was able to do my workouts. (^_^) Until next time.

-SKBarnes

When to hydrate and when to replenish?

Hey just checking in with an update. I know some of your are probably wondering why on earth do I not post on a daily basis? This is mainly due to the fact that more or less I am still involved with the same activities I listed earlier in the previous year. I naturally just assumed that you all at home would get bored of me writing, "Zumba today was fun lol." Anything really that short sweet and to point I just post on Facebook. I digress. Not too long ago I noticed that even though I was consuming plenty of water, a gallon on many occasions, I would feel drained. This later turned into me feeling quite ill and became dehydrated! Dehydrated! How could I be dehydrated when I was consuming so much water?  Up until this point I had made an attempt to stay away from all sports drinks because of how bad they have been made out to be due to the sodium and sugar content. I later came to the conclusion that it's not about omitting one choice but about when to choose one over the other. You see, on days when you choose to do light to moderate exercise, up to one hour, the better choice would be water. During that time, the only thing your body is looking to replace is water. Now on days where you strive to go the distance and push it to your limits, high-intensity or prolonged workouts, a sports drink would often be the better choice. You see, the sodium that is found in sport drinks assist your body by helping it hold on to the fluids that are normally lost through perspiration. Also, unlike water, sports drinks contain calories as a way to replenish energy. You can read more about it here. . Drinking Gatorade vs Drinking water. What I have now started doing is either, on days where I plan on doing more than one class, bring one bottle of water and one sports drink or I'll mix half and half. This really helps me because I get to cut down on the sugar and sodium without suffering the taste of the "diet" sports drink. Ha! They can keep that! Until next time.

-SKBarnes

Holidays! o_O (updated and revised)

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! On one hand I'm enjoying the holidays but on the other I can't wait for all this to end! I just wanted to come over here and make a quick post. As far as working on the weight loss so far so good. I was actually able to lose weight for Thanksgiving. Right now I'm averaging around 2.25 pounds per week. I just really hope that I can keep this up. Due to a family emergency I was unable to go to the gym this week. No use talking about getting into all of that. All I can do is get back up and work again. (12/17/12)


I finally got my internet back up and running so I decided to come back online and edit the travesty that was my "smart phone" post. LOL! You know, looking at myself now, I am noticing that I am beginning to look a bit different. I actually am catching myself taking double takes in the mirror. I almost look foreign to me. Recently I have been experiencing other changes for example I celebrated my 26th birthday on the 8th. Also my first year wedding anniversary was on the 5th! Other activities include but were not limited to seeing that the world didn't come to an abrupt end plunging all of humanity into oblivion or what have you, family get togethers, church, and the schedule changes at the Sportsplex. I'm glad to report that I did not gain any weight during Christmas. I didn't lose any either but my main goal was to not gain. 2013 is right around the corner and the funny thing is I've already got people asking what my new years resolution is. I just smile and state that "I'm already doing it." (^_^) Until next time. -SKBarnes (12/28/12)

I want to work out, not stress out!

     Hello it is I again. I know long time no see. I ask if you will to please forgive my absence. Per request of my husband I will not go into full details but long story short, I am finding myself to be under a great deal of stress. I am sure that there are a great number of you who have heard that stress in itself can trigger cravings and lead to weight gain. I am noticing an increase in cravings and crankiness but I have still not completely derailed into an all you can eat frenzy. Maybe a soda or two but nothing like a buffet or an entire cake! What I wish to know is what can I do to escape it? Mentally, if I could  I would be working out constantly but the body alas can only do so much. It decided to demonstrate that this week when I started experiencing some knee pain. (It's better now! (^_^) ) Believe it or not at one point I was feeling as though I wasn't doing quite enough until I stopped and actually took the time to evaluate my typical schedule. I mean when you view television shows depicting the lives of  people who are dropping  tremendous amounts of weight in the first few months, and I on the other hand so far have only lost 15lbs, you can easily start to question if you are really doing enough. As of now, this is what my schedule is currently looking like.
     Sundays, if I am unable to get a ride to church due to the fact that it is not local, I take a yoga class (1 hour). Mondays will either be aqua-boot camp or Zumba (1 hour each). I have gotten to the point where I love both trainer's classes so much, I have begun to alternate the classes weekly. (I love all my trainers really, I just don't have a class that I don't like!) (^_^) Tuesdays consists of Body Pump and Zumba back to back (2 hours total). Wednesdays are now rest days due to the fact that yoga was canceled. On Thursdays I take Body Pump and a belly dancing class. (2 hours total). Then I wrap up my week on Fridays with Zumba (1 hour) and Zumba Gold (45 minutes) back to back in the early in the morning. I also rest on Saturdays. I can see why lately I have been having some friends call me insane. To that I'm going to say the same thing I say to my husband when he calls me weird. You knew that when you met me! I love you anyways. (>_<) LOL!) So taking all of this into account, what is the issue? Is there a certain stress inducing chemical imbalance that physically is not allowing me to let the weight go? I do not wish to find some "special" diet pill. It is hard enough taking vitamins everyday as it would seem that  I tend to be a bit forgetful when it comes to taking any medicine/vitamins.Hopefully, this is temporary. Until next time.

-SKBarnes